Tag: Relationships

Enriching Friendships

Strong friendships are one of the greatest joys of life. However, some people are overly self-conscious and shy away from those who could be their friends. Some open themselves up to only a small circle of friends. Some put their friends through a lot of difficulty and pain. And some are outgoing toward everyone, but never cultivate any close relationships.

 

How can you learn to develop strong, healthy friendships? God’s Word has particularly deep insight concerning human relationships. And it is full of advice on building a high-quality social life.

 

Loving Friendships

 

  1. How early in human history did God recognize the need for companionship? Genesis 2:18.

 

Our Creator made us to need relationships. God created specific relationships in the family. But He also designed us to need relationships outside of our families. These relationships help us become better human beings, stronger in character and more like the loving God in His thinking. Unlike family connections, which we cannot choose, we can choose our friends.

 

  1. What biblical principle explains how we should treat others? Galatians 5:14; Matthew 22:37-40. Does this include our enemies? Matthew 5:43-47.

 

Loving another person in the same way that you love yourself is a huge challenge. But this command governs our treatment of all other human beings. If you lack solid friendships, examine yourself. How good are you at putting others’ needs ahead of your own?

 

It is natural to have some friendships that are deeper than others. Though there are levels of friendship, they all must be based on love: unselfish, outgoing concern.

 

Proverbs 18:24 states, “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly ….” The King James Version contains a mistranslation of this portion of the verse. The Revised Standard Version reads: “There are friends who pretend to be friends ….” It takes more than just putting on a show of friendship to develop strong relationships. It takes being a person who shows others that their opinions, needs, and desires matter to you; that you value their companionship. It takes a desire to love them the way you love yourself. This attracts others to you.

 

  1. Did Christ say there was an even greater love in a friendship than loving as you love yourself? John 15:13.

 

 

This kind of love goes beyond the love you have for yourself. It means even dying for your friend if necessary. In everyday application, it refers to putting your friend’s needs above your own. Do you have friends like that? Are you a friend like that?

 

Other Qualities of Good Friendships

 

  1. What else builds friendships? Proverbs 14:20; 19:4.

Superficial things draw people to us. But these proverbs aren’t saying we should seek material wealth to draw more friends to us. The word for wealth in Proverbs 19:4 can mean anything from material possessions to (My Favorite) wealth of mind and/or character. This Hebrew word is also used in Proverbs 13:7, which states that even those with nothing physically can have “riches.”

 

If you are rich in character, your personality will attract others. Proverbs 19:6 states that “every man is a friend to him that giveth gifts.” Examine what your personality offers your friends. The richer your character and the more giving your personality, the stronger those friendships will be.

 

  1. What kind of friendships should we seek? Proverbs 27:6, 17.

Rubbing a knife against a sharpening iron makes the edge of the blade razor-sharp by friction. True friendship goes beyond common interests. Seek friendships that enrich your character and the character of others. Friends should have a positive influence on each other. Showing tough love to help someone through a problem is true friendship.

Not only can your close friends enhance your moral development and character growth, they can also accept you despite your shortcomings.

 

  1. What is a related quality of good friendships? Proverbs 17:17.

The Moffatt version translates this verse, “A friend is always a friend, he is a born brother for adversity.” Struggles and tough times reveal what friendships are made of: They even deepen relationships. They distinguish real friends from fair-weather friends. True friends will not desert you when things get rough or when they discover a weakness in you. They will see you through the adversity and help you overcome.

 

These proverbs say a lot about the kind of friend you should be, not just the kind of friends you should seek. Show your friends this unconditional love “at all times.” Be sure you demonstrate “wealthy” character around them, that your influence on them enhances their already strong character.

 

  1. What warnings do the Proverbs give about sure ways to ruin friendships? Proverbs 16:28; 17:9; 18:19.

These verses can refer to gossip that separates other people’s friendships. But gossip can also separate our own relationships if we spread rumors about our friends or share something with others that was told to us in confidence.

 

If you show yourself trustworthy; able perhaps to be blunt with your friends to their face in private, yet stick up for them around others and in the face of rumors, people will value your friendship.

 

We all make mistakes, though. A selfish act, an instance of stubborn pride, a hurtful comment; these can test the stability of a friendship. We should be able to apologize, and to forgive our friends when they slip up, to be a friend “at all times.”

 

Friendships to Avoid

 

  1. Does the Bible ever encourage two people not to be friends? Amos 3:3. Are there specific people we should not associate with? Proverbs 13:20.

 

Since we can choose our friends, God tells us to consider those choices carefully.

 

  1. Did Paul exhort Christians to avoid close company with nonbelievers? 2 Corinthians 6:14, 16-17.

 

These verses do not contradict the biblical law of “love thy neighbour as thyself.” Christians should hate the evil that people get involved in, but they should not hate the people. We can and should be friendly, help them if necessary, and even pray for them (Matthew 5:43-44). But do not associate with them or seek out their companionship.

 

There are also many nonbelievers that true Christians can become acquaintances with: people we work with or go to school with that we would not necessarily associate with beyond those situations. You can probably think of several acquaintances you have whose choices conflict with your values or morals in certain ways, but such a conflict does not typically arise in a work environment.

 

Use caution, however. Once those acquaintances move outside those boundaries, you could be dragged down by the lifestyle they lead. You may think you can be a good influence on them, but that is not what the Bible says. People who are bad influences will pull you down, often times you will not pull them up.

 

Close Friendships

 

  1. Are there some friendships that should be especially close? Proverbs 18:24 (last half).

 

Most of us have several good friends, maybe a few close friends, and maybe even one special, best friend. As you grow older, you will probably only be able to count your strongest, closest friendships on one hand. This is normal.

  1. As a human being, did Jesus Christ connect more with one disciple than the others? John 13:23; 21:20.

 

Instead of referring to himself by name in his own writings, the Apostle John refers to himself as “the disciple whom Jesus loved.” Because Jesus was the great God in human form, the one who epitomized perfect love and friendship. His friendship with the other disciples did not suffer from the special bond He had with John. Jesus loved all men to the point of dying for every man. Still, Jesus referred to all of His disciples as His friends (John 15:14-15) and had a best-friend type relationship with John. In fact, Jesus, just before dying, told John to take care of His mother, Mary (John 19:25-27).

 

  1. Did David have a special closeness with a certain friend in his life? 2 Samuel 1:26.
  2. To what level did Jonathan love his best friend David? 1 Samuel 18:1, 3; 20:17.

 

Here is an example of outstanding love on the human level. Jonathan loved David “as his own soul.” Jonathan’s loyalty went to the point where he told David, “Whatsoever thy soul desireth, I will even do it for thee” (1 Samuel 20:4). 

 

This relationship transcended even politics. Jonathan, son of King Saul (who was trying to kill David at this time), was the heir to Israel’s throne. But Jonathan had the courage to serve his friend, knowing that God had chosen David to be king, rather than cling selfishly to his position. It was a marvelous example of loyalty, mutual respect and admiration. It was unselfish love and up building of character in the other.

 

Treasure your friendships. Take time to learn who your real friends are. Choose your friends wisely. Then work at building those friendships. Examine the kind of friend you are and what you have to offer Spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. If you do these things, your life can be enriched and your own character strengthened!

The Inward & Outline of Relationships

Women will never understand the mysteries of men until they understand the treasures of God. And men will never comprehend the mysteries of women until they truly understand the treasures of God. Without this revealed knowledge people can never fully understand the true importance of both man and woman. But what are the unknown mysteries and the true importance of women and men?

 

First you need to locate a solid foundation serving as a base for revealed Wisdom as if it were a light that was clicked on. Secondly you need to have a building block to continue a further understanding in which makes that same light shine even brighter and brighter in the never ending cycle of time. To understand all the mysteries and the complete importance of men and women you will have to first seek the invaluable revealed Wisdom of both The Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

 

To put it all into simple terms: the Heavenly Father is the Foundation and the Rock as Jesus Christ is the Cornerstone and the Building Block. The basic foundation of revealed knowledge is that both men and women were designed with two separate roles, yet as human beings; each one of us are made with similar differences in which we are all created equally in the same invaluable way. Another way to see this light in it’s true glory is realizing that Satan is out to equally destroy everybody as well as blind the entire human race from seeing their full God given potential in both physical and Spiritual Growth if he could. With God’s precious invention of human beings came various types of relationships such as the relationship between a human being and God (A type of The Foundation/The Rock), the relationship between boyfriend and girlfriend “husband and wife,” the relationship between two family members, and the relationship between two dear friends (A Type of The Cornerstone/The Building Block).

 

Friendship is the rock, the foundation, the cornerstone, a building block, and is what all the other relationships have in common. Any type of relationship with God involved is always going to be truly a successful relationship because God is our first best friend. In true friendship anything can be built rock solid.

 

The role of a Woman in each type of her physical relationships is to protect the mind of all the males in her life especially the mind of her Godly boyfriend/husband. This is done by first allowing God to protect her own mind which enables her to be a Godly Woman and an example to all the other females in her life. But the mind of an ungodly man is hard to protect and he will only strain every type of relationship that he has, especially against those who serve God and eventually most often; his various relationships withers away in time because he is like an unbuilt house in constant storms refusing to know and live accordingly to the Heavenly Father. Rejecting a Foundation.

 

The role of a Man in each type of his physical relationships is to direct the mind of all the females in his life especially the mind of his Godly girlfriend/wife. This is done by first allowing God to protect his own mind which enables him to be a Godly Man and an example to all the other males in his life. But the mind of an ungodly woman is hard to protect and she will also strain every type of relationship that she has, especially against those who serve God and eventually most often; her various relationships too withers away in time because she is like an uncalled rose without spring that refusing to know and live accordingly to the Heavenly Father. Rejecting a Foundation.

 

A mystery that shall be made known and clear is that females will from time to time need to seek guidance from any of the important males in her life especially her Godly Boyfriend/Husband or her Godly Boyfriend/Husband to be. Males will from time to time need to seek encouragement from any of the important females in his life especially his Godly Girlfriend/Wife or Godly Girlfriend/Wife to be. But all Men and Women should use caution with sound judgment when taking any type of support (guidance, advice, opinions, encouragement, direction, etc) from any and all ungodly men and women because sinners cannot give sound judgment to a True Christian, it is the True Christians that leads both the True Christians and the real sinners.

 

The mind of a Godly Woman is protected because her Boyfriend/Husband is a Godly Man and the mind of a Godly Man is directed because his wife is a Godly Girlfriend/Wife. It is through God that a Godly Woman and a Godly Man serves as one organ in the Holy Union of a Holy Matrimony. When she’s protecting him and he’s directing her: from their respectful foundational and unique individual roots they begin to protect and direct each other in perfect Spiritual Rhythm in so much that even the heart picks up on the tune of God.

 

A Man serves as both the Foundation and the Rock for a woman, much like God does for both men and women. A Woman serves as both the Cornerstone and the Building Block for a man, much like Christ does for both women and men. It isn’t hard to understand the importance of each individual both the sinner and the Christian but it’s up to the individual to decide if they will be a (sinner) child of disobedience or a (Christian) Child of Obedience. It’s easy for Christians and sinners to co exist in the physical world but they cannot co exist in the Spiritual Body of Christ, they cannot last long nor co exist in The Holy Union of Courtship serving as boyfriend and girlfriend, and they cannot last long or co exist in the Holy Unification of Holy Matrimony serving as husband and Wife.

 

Simply put Spiritually you cannot mix Light with darkness for if half of the organ is of darkness then the whole organ eventually rots and if an organ dies the whole body eventually dies. A Godly Woman and a Godly Man both together serves as one Mind within a Holy Institute of Marriage but also they together serve as one mind within the Spiritual Body of Christ. In other words to fully become apart of the Spiritual Body of Christ is to first and only requirement is to become a Christian. The second is preferably but only just an option to eventually find a Spiritual and Godly person of the opposite sex to be conjoined in a Holy Union of Marriage becoming complete as one Mind while also helping to construct the Spiritual Body of Christ “The Church” full of other Godly Physical Individuals that are Spiritually Engage to Christ and Physical Holy Marriage’s that are both Spiritually Engage to Christ and a reflection of the coming Spiritual Marriage between the Church and Christ.

 

For if a Godly Woman knows how to follow Christ, she learns how to follow her Godly Boyfriend/Husband and if a Godly Man knows how to follow Christ, he learns how to lead his Godly Girlfriend/Wife. A physical marriage combining of either two sinners or a Christian and a sinner are the two types that are not a completion of God’s Spiritual and Holy Union of Marriage. A physical marriage is hard and complete blindness on two sinners involved in marriage but it is extremely harder on the Christian who is already involved with a sinner in a marriage. Another mystery of women and men that shall be made clear is that real mental happiness, emotional happiness, physical happiness, and sexual happiness begins only with True Spiritual Happiness but it takes both partners in the relationship. So for the Christian involved with a sinner in a physical courtship (boyfriend/girlfriend) and or physical marriage (husband/wife) can easily be drained Spiritually, which leads to being drained mentally, which leads to being drained emotionally, which eventually leads to being drained physically, which also leads to being drained sexually. The sinner involved in the physical courtship and or the physical marriage is unknowingly being selfish, greedy, un sensitive, abusive, and carnal as well as blind to their ways being overall unhealthy in all their forms of relationships especially the relationship of their boyfriend/girlfriend and or husband/wife.

 

When understanding the utmost importance of God only then can we all know just how invaluable Woman are. And only by understanding the utmost importance of women can we all know just how invaluable men are. For us Men of Courage: without God and Women, us men would just be completely lost and alone and that my friends could never be good.