Tag: Marriage

Communication Builds a Marriage

The vital connection for a strong marriage.

 

A THRIVING MARRIAGE REQUIRES HONEST, OPEN, ongoing communication. These are simple but powerful principles. God tells us in Ephesians 4:15 to speak the truth -communicate- “in love.” God’s love is outgoing concern for the good and welfare of others. His communication “in love” has a profound effect.

 

LEVELS OF COMMUNICATION

 

Here we’ll look at three aspects of communication: talking, listening, and understanding.

 

The FIRST aspect of communication is talking.

 

There are different levels of quality in talking. Talking just for the sake of talking is not the same as effective, healthy, constructive communication. Good communication reveals one’s true thoughts and feelings about an action or situation. It is an open expression of what is in your mind.

 

Level 1: Cliche conversation. This is where a person hides behind the safety screen of cliches and small talk. He or she shares nothing personal. The conversation always stays on the level of “How are you” or “Looks like it is going to rain.” Level 2: Reporting facts. In this kind of conversation, information that is perhaps interesting or useful is shared, but no personal views enter into the discussion. Facts are simply quoted, much like a newsreader. Level 3: Expressing ideas and judgments. Here is where some real communication begins. The person steps out from his or her comfort zone and goes beyond just sharing facts: They also share their ideas and judgments-determinations about those facts. Level 4: Expressing feelings and emotions. Here the person begins to share genuine feelings about things. There can be no truly effective communication in marriage until both parties interact with each other on this level. Without such, neither will know how the other feels on vital issues. Level 5: Openness and honesty. This is the ultimate level; one of absolute openness and honesty. All deep relationships, especially the marriage relationship, must be based upon honest communication, otherwise the relationship will suffer.

 

SPEAK IN LOVE

 

We must also add to this God’s biblical instruction of “speaking the truth in love.” When we move our conversations beyond cliches and share not only facts but also ideas, judgments, feelings with openness, we create a world of communication that builds beauty and harmony into our relationships. We don’t want to use communication to create a world of misery. For a marriage to have beauty and harmony, the husband and wife must be committed to speak the truth in all things. Truth with love sometimes hurts, but this is part of healthy communication. Healthy communication always carries an overall positive and helpful message (Ephesians 5:25; Proverbs 10:19-10:20; 15:4, Psalms 37:30). Words can create or destroy relationships. They make life brighter or darker. They can spread a great deal of misery or joy. They can forge a chain of grief or satisfaction (Proverbs 25:11; 12:25). Words create an atmosphere of good or evil (Proverbs 17:9; Matthew 12:36-12:37; Colossians 3:8). Our communication produces either unity, harmony, and goodness; or the opposite. It either builds us up or pulls us down. God spoke to an Earth that lay in tohu and bohu which means chaos and confusion. God’s Word brought about beauty and harmony, making it “very good” (Genesis 1:31). If your marriage has a degree of chaos and confusion, then kind words can heal the problem (Ephesians 4:23, 29, 31-32; 5:2-5:4; 1 Peter 3;1-3:7). Satan’s speaking brings about wholesale misery (John 8:44). When God speaks, there is always a wonderful result (Genesis 1:27-1:28, 2:18-2:24; John 13-17). Each of us must speak the language of love in our marriages (Ephesians 5:21; 1 Corinthians 13:1-13:13). The tone of your voice is also very important “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver” (Proverbs 25:11). Some communication experts say that words compose 7 percent of the message, 38 percent is tone of voice, and 55 percent is body language. What you say is often less important than how you say it.

 

LISTEN CAREFULLY

 

The SECOND aspect of communication is listening.

 

James 1:19 states, “Let every man be swift to hear…” (See also Proverbs 1:5; 19:20; and 25:12). In a troubled marriage a ready listener is often lacking. Here are three areas that interfere with effective listening: DEFENSIVENESS: You are not listening when you are busy thinking of ways to shoot down the other person’s comments or thinking of all the reasons why you are right. SELF-CENTEREDNESS: You are not listening when you are talking, interrupting, being impatient, or being intolerant toward the other person. PHYSICAL OR MENTAL FATIGUE: You are not listening when you are tired. This certainly can dull your ability and desire to listen.

 

The challenge is to listen not only to the words but also to the feelings and meaning behind the words. If a person feel understood, then he or she will be less defensive and more receptive.

 

UNDERSTANDING YOUR PARTNER

 

The THIRD aspect of communication is understanding.

 

Seek always to understand your partner. Communication or the lack thereof is a matter of cause and effect. All behavior has a cause. “God made humans to be free moral agents,” He set in motion His inexorable law, which, if obeyed, causes peace, blessings, abundance; but which, when disobeyed, causes curses. He compels humans to choose. Each must make his or her own choice; either positively or by neglect. God has made His truth available! God expects you to grow in your marriage by using the vital tool of communication. If we all work on this regardless of how long we have been married, our unity with our spouses and quality of our marriages will grow stronger.

 

At all times: let’s talk, listen, and understand in a way that builds beauty, unity, and strength in our marriages. If we do, we will be developing the divine righteous character of God in preparation for the ultimate Spiritual marriage of Jesus Christ to the one and only true Church.

What is Manhood?

Surely almost every adult male considers himself a man. Yet if they were asked to define just what it means to be a man, they would give a variety of conflicting definitions.

If you want to define manhood for yourself, you will probably always meet your own criteria.

But if you want to define manhood in reality, you need to look into the Holy Bible, and consult the Creator of manhood.

He has a lot to say about it. And if you are male, you should be deeply interested in His view.

How well do you measure up to God’s definition of manhood? Are you stepping up as a man as He intends? Are you fulfilling your duties as a man in your home, with your family? In your job? To your neighbors and other people in your life? Within society? Frankly, few men could look their Maker in the face and answer yes to these questions.

Meeting God’s standard is a challenge, a very noble challenge, and He intends it to be. But it is made all the more difficult by powerful forces within modern society working against you. Over a period of decades, society has employed a variety of tools and weapons to prevent men from fulfilling their God-ordained role.

Confusion over just what is expected of man is rife. The result is that many of us fail even to fully understand what it means to be a man, let alone to embody it.

The absence of biblical manhood today represents a revolution in modern society. And when you truly evaluate the effects, you see just how devastating it has been.

God, however, has a solution. He is working with a group of men today, men whom He is preparing to assist Jesus Christ in restoring biblical manhood.

 

setting this upside-down world right-side up.

You can be one of those men.

Seeing the full picture of the masculine duty God has vested in you is awesome and inspiring. It can also be intimidating, even overwhelming. But take heart.

Maturing as a Godly man is a lifelong endeavor, and it is never too early or too late to start. Every man struggles. Every man can grow in biblical manhood. You have everything to gain from studying this subject. Every bit of effort you put toward better grasping and fulfilling the powerful, spiritually rich, and enriching role God has given you will be worth it.

This series is a frank discussion and anyone studying biblical manhood will receive an exhilarating vision into the mind of God.

In the next blog we will begin by surveying the world as it is today. As we do, assess how much of society’s thinking has rubbed off on you.

The Inward & Outline of Relationships

Women will never understand the mysteries of men until they understand the treasures of God. And men will never comprehend the mysteries of women until they truly understand the treasures of God. Without this revealed knowledge people can never fully understand the true importance of both man and woman. But what are the unknown mysteries and the true importance of women and men?

 

First you need to locate a solid foundation serving as a base for revealed Wisdom as if it were a light that was clicked on. Secondly you need to have a building block to continue a further understanding in which makes that same light shine even brighter and brighter in the never ending cycle of time. To understand all the mysteries and the complete importance of men and women you will have to first seek the invaluable revealed Wisdom of both The Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

 

To put it all into simple terms: the Heavenly Father is the Foundation and the Rock as Jesus Christ is the Cornerstone and the Building Block. The basic foundation of revealed knowledge is that both men and women were designed with two separate roles, yet as human beings; each one of us are made with similar differences in which we are all created equally in the same invaluable way. Another way to see this light in it’s true glory is realizing that Satan is out to equally destroy everybody as well as blind the entire human race from seeing their full God given potential in both physical and Spiritual Growth if he could. With God’s precious invention of human beings came various types of relationships such as the relationship between a human being and God (A type of The Foundation/The Rock), the relationship between boyfriend and girlfriend “husband and wife,” the relationship between two family members, and the relationship between two dear friends (A Type of The Cornerstone/The Building Block).

 

Friendship is the rock, the foundation, the cornerstone, a building block, and is what all the other relationships have in common. Any type of relationship with God involved is always going to be truly a successful relationship because God is our first best friend. In true friendship anything can be built rock solid.

 

The role of a Woman in each type of her physical relationships is to protect the mind of all the males in her life especially the mind of her Godly boyfriend/husband. This is done by first allowing God to protect her own mind which enables her to be a Godly Woman and an example to all the other females in her life. But the mind of an ungodly man is hard to protect and he will only strain every type of relationship that he has, especially against those who serve God and eventually most often; his various relationships withers away in time because he is like an unbuilt house in constant storms refusing to know and live accordingly to the Heavenly Father. Rejecting a Foundation.

 

The role of a Man in each type of his physical relationships is to direct the mind of all the females in his life especially the mind of his Godly girlfriend/wife. This is done by first allowing God to protect his own mind which enables him to be a Godly Man and an example to all the other males in his life. But the mind of an ungodly woman is hard to protect and she will also strain every type of relationship that she has, especially against those who serve God and eventually most often; her various relationships too withers away in time because she is like an uncalled rose without spring that refusing to know and live accordingly to the Heavenly Father. Rejecting a Foundation.

 

A mystery that shall be made known and clear is that females will from time to time need to seek guidance from any of the important males in her life especially her Godly Boyfriend/Husband or her Godly Boyfriend/Husband to be. Males will from time to time need to seek encouragement from any of the important females in his life especially his Godly Girlfriend/Wife or Godly Girlfriend/Wife to be. But all Men and Women should use caution with sound judgment when taking any type of support (guidance, advice, opinions, encouragement, direction, etc) from any and all ungodly men and women because sinners cannot give sound judgment to a True Christian, it is the True Christians that leads both the True Christians and the real sinners.

 

The mind of a Godly Woman is protected because her Boyfriend/Husband is a Godly Man and the mind of a Godly Man is directed because his wife is a Godly Girlfriend/Wife. It is through God that a Godly Woman and a Godly Man serves as one organ in the Holy Union of a Holy Matrimony. When she’s protecting him and he’s directing her: from their respectful foundational and unique individual roots they begin to protect and direct each other in perfect Spiritual Rhythm in so much that even the heart picks up on the tune of God.

 

A Man serves as both the Foundation and the Rock for a woman, much like God does for both men and women. A Woman serves as both the Cornerstone and the Building Block for a man, much like Christ does for both women and men. It isn’t hard to understand the importance of each individual both the sinner and the Christian but it’s up to the individual to decide if they will be a (sinner) child of disobedience or a (Christian) Child of Obedience. It’s easy for Christians and sinners to co exist in the physical world but they cannot co exist in the Spiritual Body of Christ, they cannot last long nor co exist in The Holy Union of Courtship serving as boyfriend and girlfriend, and they cannot last long or co exist in the Holy Unification of Holy Matrimony serving as husband and Wife.

 

Simply put Spiritually you cannot mix Light with darkness for if half of the organ is of darkness then the whole organ eventually rots and if an organ dies the whole body eventually dies. A Godly Woman and a Godly Man both together serves as one Mind within a Holy Institute of Marriage but also they together serve as one mind within the Spiritual Body of Christ. In other words to fully become apart of the Spiritual Body of Christ is to first and only requirement is to become a Christian. The second is preferably but only just an option to eventually find a Spiritual and Godly person of the opposite sex to be conjoined in a Holy Union of Marriage becoming complete as one Mind while also helping to construct the Spiritual Body of Christ “The Church” full of other Godly Physical Individuals that are Spiritually Engage to Christ and Physical Holy Marriage’s that are both Spiritually Engage to Christ and a reflection of the coming Spiritual Marriage between the Church and Christ.

 

For if a Godly Woman knows how to follow Christ, she learns how to follow her Godly Boyfriend/Husband and if a Godly Man knows how to follow Christ, he learns how to lead his Godly Girlfriend/Wife. A physical marriage combining of either two sinners or a Christian and a sinner are the two types that are not a completion of God’s Spiritual and Holy Union of Marriage. A physical marriage is hard and complete blindness on two sinners involved in marriage but it is extremely harder on the Christian who is already involved with a sinner in a marriage. Another mystery of women and men that shall be made clear is that real mental happiness, emotional happiness, physical happiness, and sexual happiness begins only with True Spiritual Happiness but it takes both partners in the relationship. So for the Christian involved with a sinner in a physical courtship (boyfriend/girlfriend) and or physical marriage (husband/wife) can easily be drained Spiritually, which leads to being drained mentally, which leads to being drained emotionally, which eventually leads to being drained physically, which also leads to being drained sexually. The sinner involved in the physical courtship and or the physical marriage is unknowingly being selfish, greedy, un sensitive, abusive, and carnal as well as blind to their ways being overall unhealthy in all their forms of relationships especially the relationship of their boyfriend/girlfriend and or husband/wife.

 

When understanding the utmost importance of God only then can we all know just how invaluable Woman are. And only by understanding the utmost importance of women can we all know just how invaluable men are. For us Men of Courage: without God and Women, us men would just be completely lost and alone and that my friends could never be good.